By Adeboyejo Oluwaseyi
Marriage was created for us to enjoy. The journey of marriage is a life time journey and we need to know that everything in this life has two sides as it was said that life is up and down so also is marriage.
There is no perfect man or woman, therefore there is no perfect marriage. There are things you need to know on how to make your marriage work. If you want a happy marriage then you must know how to build it. Failure to do this can be the reason while marriages collapse.
Always make yourself available to talk things out with your spouse. Nothing should be too complicated for you not to share with your spouse
You most also have a heart of forgiveness, because in marriage, you will surely be offended so, for you to have a happy marriage, you must be willing to forgive and forget. You must be financially responsible, money is a top priority in marriage especially in these challenging financial times. You both must be responsible financially, knowing that you are each paying bills on time, and not making unnecessary purchases. You can create a joint account for bills but also keep separate accounts for miscellaneous expenses and your future goals. Most importantly, be financially honest with one another, no matter what.
Cultivate the habit of speaking well of each other. Keep the issue of your marriage affairs secret, if you tell your friends or your family members about a fight you had with your husband or wife they might not forgive him or her even after you have forgiven and forgotten. It is a betrayal to trash-talk your spouse to others, even if he or she made you really mad. Your personal issues need to stay personal so that you do not create problems in your social and family circle that will only grow worse over time.
You need bond with each other’s families. It is a gift to your spouse when you blend well with his or her parents and siblings. Be friend with them, give compliments and if there is any issue between you and your in-laws that make you to dislike them even after it has been resolved, you need to let it go for you to enjoy peace in your marriage. Make an effort to at least be cordial, forgive and forget as much as you can and start fresh. Do not give your spouse a hard time because of a rude comment your in-laws give because he or she can become angry and this lead to cracks in your marriage.
Do something for your partner that you did when you were newly wed. Just because you have him or her now does not make you to stop what you have been doing before that kept the fire of the love burning. Send flowers, tuck little notes of love into his or her briefcase or leave private message on his or her voice mail. With this, you will generate new emotional connection. Also thinking back on your honeymoon period will also help you recollect those warm memories.
Say thank you at least once everyday. Thank each other for little courtesy, avoid taking each other for granted, try to show your appreciation at least once a day. Say it like you mean it even if it has to do with their domestic work at home. And if there is something you appreciate about your spouse say it out. Also find a physical activity you both enjoy and exercise together to make your bodies and marriage healthier. Play tennis, jump in the pool, and so on by so doing, you will boost the love in your marriage and also support each other while you work on your health.
Re-introduce meaningful conversation into your relationship about each other’s day is not enough. Try this, one night while you are in front of the TV or in the car, make a remark about something your partner deeply cares about. It can be sports, politics or any other things to get the ball rolling.
Treat your spouse with respect and admiration in public this also works like margic because everybody has their reputation to protect. Whether you are at a party, a business meeting, or just strolling down the street learn how to give him or her subtle signals of your connection like hold his or her hand or smiling at each other. And never, ever, make fun of your partner in public. Fight fair in argument, that is why you need to create good communication between you and your spouse.
Talking about the daily details of your lives is just as important as sharing hopes, dreams, and fears, so asking about their daily activities is a great way to build understanding and rapour. Do not forget to ask how that meeting, phone call, or lunch turned out. Your thoughtfulness will make your partner feel loved and cared for . Communication is very vital in marriage, establish a good communication channel in your marriage. If you discuss what is bothering you in a structured and formal way, the same issues will not come up so often at other time and if they do, you will be able to discuss them more calmly.
Always put your marriage first. This is a golden rule of all in your relationship your spouse always comes first. Even your kids are going to leave someday it is your marriage that will last long. Putting your marriage first means deliberately setting aside time for the two of you. Lastly and most important of all things to do to enjoy your marriage, is to learn how to say sorry. Most of the time in marriage we need to let go of our pride and learn to apologise, for this is what we call maturity in marriage. This will go a long way to bring peace and also reduce unnecessary argument in your marriage.
Adeboyejo Oluwaseyi is an Intern with Hope Newspaper from AAUA